It might seem a little obvious for most people, but after a recent Netflix and Chill gone wrong, some basics need to be laid down. If you've got a Chill coming up and you are the host, look through this short list and make sure you've got your shit together. Get it together!
1. Vacuum. Do you own a vacuum cleaner? You really should. For now, borrow one or do whatever but clean your floor. No food, excessive animal hair, or especially nail trimmings should be found ANYWHERE. GROSS. How old are you?!
2. Warn your roommate. In fact, maybe tell them to steer clear entirely. I know it's just a Chill but for real please make sure this doesn't turn into a night where you and your friends rehash the glory days. No one else cares that you peed in public sophomore year of college and got arrested. I thought we were going to Netflix and Chill?!!?
3. Have beverages. You should probably have a home bar by now, because you're not a teenager, but at least have some drinkable beer (NOT Natty Light!) or some drinkable wine (NOT Carlo Rossi!!) so that we can relax. If you don't drink, that's cool. But no, I do not want a tap water out of a plastic cup. WHO ARE YOU.
4. Take out the trash. Just take it out. It smells. How many days has it been since you took it out? If the answer is any number, take it out.
5. Do the dishes. Or throw them away. SUPER EASY.
6. Clean your bathroom. I may need to sit on your toilet. Think about what you are putting me through.
7. Look at your couch. Would it repel a decent human being? Then cancel the Chill, get a job, and buy a new couch. Think I'm being harsh? Too bad.
8. Have Netflix. If I get there and we are actually just watching a VHS of your high school swim team highlights, you will never be able to show your face in town again. Make sure you have internet and have Netflix. This is 50% of what we agreed on, so messing up means you FAIL.
OK, now I feel better! If you knew all of this, then congratulations you may be able to have a Netflix and Chill session that lasts longer than 10 minutes! If you did not know this stuff, then you are in serious trouble. I mean, I understand not being able to adult, but... holy. shit.